Woops my 10 minute study break turned into a whole year
(Source: plasticpiranhas)
(Source: dinnerat-dahmers)
the bags under my eyes are so heavy because they carry the weight of all my dead hopes and dreams
(Source: mydemisee)
i cybered on omegle today
- You: hi
- Stranger: hey
- You: wanna cyber
- Stranger: Depends are you a girl? ;)
- You: ya
- Stranger: And okay then, you start?
- You: i come into ur bedroom
- You: and ur sleeping
- You: and i crawl under your blanket
- Stranger: I'm still asleep
- You: u feel me pulling down ur pants
- You: and u wake up and smile
- Stranger: I kiss you gently, still sleepy
- You: then i smile and open the scissors around your dick and snap them closed
- You: cutting off your penis
- Stranger: wait
- You: THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR CHEATING ON ME
- Stranger: Then what...?
- You: I HATE YOU
- Stranger: I didn't cheat
- You: you bleed to death in your bed
- Stranger: i didn't cheat on you. lets restart ok
- You: nobody ever knows what happened
- You: i flee to mexico with your Mercedes
- You: the end
- Stranger: I have a mercedes?
- You: not anymore faggot
- Your conversation partner has disconnected.
60,000 NOTES WTF HOW? i can’t believe people actually like my poetry.
im gonna piss: brandnewswastikas: I guess my ideal woman is the newly married, kind...
I guess my ideal woman is the newly married, kind of ugly girl who is in every class at every community college who always tries to talk about how her husband is in Iraq. After mentioning him twice to the class within the first day, she feels comfortable enough to refer to him by first his name. If the teacher is talking about economics, she will interrupt to say something like, “Travis had a really good book about economics. I think he took it with him to Iraq. I’ll call him over Skype tonight and ask.” The teacher will continue the lecture without comment and the married girl will wait like a rat trap in extreme anticipation for the next time she will be able to talk about her husband who is in Iraq.
She is my ideal woman because I want to be her husband so I can die in Iraq and never have to see her again.
nayx:
THE GAY PEOPLE ARE COMING RAISE THE VAGINA WALLS *enormous stone walls with vaginas painted onto them rise up from the grounds. the gay people instantly retreat in a choreographed dance number*
Happy Birthday Joel! This man puts so much emotion in his music. Can’t wait to see them play.
(Source: sunnydaze97)
made this transparent
Real Friends- Dirty Water
